What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
