I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
