I look better un-naked...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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