He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize