Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
