I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
