Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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