She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
