Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
