you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How's work?
Spinning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
