I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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