So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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