the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
