First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
