Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Enjoy the penises
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
