I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
