went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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