Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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