Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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