Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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