pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh god it's open bar.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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