u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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