matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
