If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize