I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
