my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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