Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize