wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
