you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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