I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
