This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize