Me. At least after what I've been through.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
