doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
