.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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