So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
