the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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