Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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