Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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