singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
