i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
