If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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