Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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