Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
