I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
