Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
