One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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