No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize