oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
