hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
