dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
