so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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