she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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