There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
