He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
