He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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