How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Floor bacon is actually really good
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
