Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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