So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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