if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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