So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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