His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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