i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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