Do vagina's smell?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
