I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
