he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
