We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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