Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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