Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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