and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
