Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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