checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
