Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
