she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
